Two Years today since Manel left us for the other side.

Time heals is what so many told me. And it is true. 

Today is two years since Manel left his body. 

Time has dulled the shock, but it does not take the lived experience, in fact it grows sharper and more meaningful. 

It was 8.08am when he left us on Earth…. On the last day of the Lion’s Gate portal, 8/12, the portal of the Heart. 

How do I know the time, when he fell and died? He told me in his own way… 

At that moment Maya our dog went crazy, like someone just walked into the room. 

Of course Manel had, the second he left his body he was there with me. 

It as a strange day, he left at 4am to climb that great mountain in the Pyrenees, alone.  He loved to do this so much, it was his place of oneness with the Divine. Every year he did a big ascent and for months he had longed for this moment. 

He meant to go on 8/8, but something in my being was screaming, I got sick and he waited for me to recover. 

I was waiting for him to be home around 4pm, I was restless, Maya kept freaking out. I would only know much later that night that he was already soaring in other realms.

I called him at 4pm, no answer. I never worried about Manel in the mountains, he was so safe, so experienced, he had saved so many climbers up there over the years. 

At 8pm I was worried and his friend Cristina called mountain rescue, so began the search. At 2.30am we got the call, that they had “found Manel and he was dead.” My world shattered in that moment. 

When I looked back on the last 8 months of his life he had been fixated on the lemniscate, the infinity sign or 8. 

He had said how our heart was the zero point of this symbol and he’d drawn it everywhere. He created a Hara meditation walking this 8 symbol repeatedly. 

He did a vision board with 8 everywhere. 

“Did he know what was coming?” I wondered so often. 

In retrospect I would say “yes”. Those last months we packed up our home and planned to try different life between Boulder, Colorado and Catalonia Spain (his home). I was driven by the future, where will we live, what will we do etc. 

We need to do our taxes before we fly… How will we get Maya (our dog) back and forth etc. 

He would just look at me and laugh and say something like “baby, everything is perfect right now. Life is so beautiful.” 

He was in completing his life and I missed it. 

His depth and wisdom became so profound. 

He was seeing the world through another perspective, he was seeing it all. Living in total presence and love. 

There was no future in his thoughts or plans. 

He had joked so often that if he died it would be on the mountain. 

Hara, was Manel’s favorite teaching…. grounding us in our intention to be here, in this body, in this life and living your purpose fully. 

I did not know the intensity of love until I lost him. The depth of pain only magnifies the love that was lived and will forever live in my being. Like Energy, love cannot be made or destroyed, just transformed. 

The huge physical love we shared is now a higher dimensional one that lives as an active, new aspect of my heart. 

Two years ago I could not have been able to tell you of the mystical transition I have lived with Manel, his sharing and the tsunami of love that has held me every moment these weeks. His and yours… 

The mystics say the other side of the coin of love is death, and I didn’t get it… until I lived it. 

I have come to know that death is not our enemy or something to fear. For those left behind of course it is our greatest fear. 

I know how happy Manel would be with his exit from the body. It was a perfect moment for him, up there high in those mountains he loved. 

In a heartbeat he left the physical world behind and was flying free over those mountains. Some saw him fall and already was flying. 

He’d once said a he would love a sky burial, to be left on the mountains for the vultures… his body was up there for 24 hours before they could get the helicopter up there.

He was a shamanic man and gave a blood sacrifice to this sacred mountain…. He would love this too. 

We held a huge funeral for him on August 15 in his home town of Girona, friends and family flew across the world to be there… Manel’s big loving family held me in love and still does. 

I have been frozen in the shadows for 2 years, and I am using this blog to find my voice and share this huge time in my life. 

Perhaps more interesting than my personal experience is how Manel showed me so many things from the other side and continues to this day to do so. 

In the weeks that followed I was in the mystery of it all. I will share his transition of his energy fields soon.  

He kept telling me to “follow the love not the loss” and I continue to do this. 

But for today, as we honor this incredible man…. I leave you with a part of my speech at his Boulder funeral. 

Boulder Colorado, October 6th, 2024

Manel was the love of my life… my partner and mate in every way. He was a man of pure love, he lived with an open heart where everything was welcome. He deeply accepted everyone as they were. I was so lucky to live 9 years of his love and it transformed me, shaped me and allowed me to love so deeply to survive this moment in my life.  We have loved each other through eternity and these years ahead without you will be hard, but our souls are always one. I honor your journey and our soul contracts…

He was a man of incredible multidimensionality. He lived deep in truth, integrity, and love. Connected to the spiritual world, fully in his strong body and connected to this earth. 

I could say Manel was fearless, but his only fear was to not live absolutely. 

We became each other’s home in Boulder, in this incredible community here today (and some who could not make it). I loved being in full feminine surrender, creating a home and space for us to grow. And from this loving space Manel grew into the man he longed to be. Fully himself, in his power and love. He is where he is meant to be free. He transitioned in fullness and joy, the biggest gift of a human life. 

This time 8 weeks ago we were having a beautiful Sunday together. Swimming in the Mediterranean sea, he was showing me his beautiful land that I was so in love with… Manel was not living for a future, for the past many months he was living in total, joy, bliss, love and presence. He was a man in full completion of his life. He was in full expansion, huge and beautiful. 

Manel burned with healing and transformation, according to many from when he was young. He had a curiosity and seeking spirit that wanted to know, explore and live it all, way beyond anything he came from. He knew that  we are eternal souls, here on earth for a moment to live and experience what we need to grow fully. The mountains always called him, and where he had his profound spiritual experiences that drove his life path… to become a healer, a teacher, create this healing blueprint of Universal Healing.  

This image behind me is that of Universal Healing. He believed in Healing and empowering through love.  Its is Manel’s legacy to the world, of making multidimensional healing available to everyone on this earth. We spent months creating this blueprint of the work we are bringing and this holds it all…. 

We left for Catalonia early June, to see what our next adventure would be…. I fell in love with that beautiful land, and said we need to live here half our year. He just laughed and said “we’ll see”…. As he did so often. 

I see now those ten weeks in Catalonia was the closing of the circle of his life. He was in deep peace and acceptance and love. He made such peace with every aspect of his life, even his children. 

Manel died as he lived, a warriors death. He left early that hot august morning to climb the iconic Pedraforca, he couldn’t wait to be up there in his place of joy and home. In a heartbeat he was gone from his body, merged with the universe in those high mountains. Our one healers saw 4 angels catch him as he fell. I saw him merging with that powerful place and flying through the universe. He is showing up in all our healings, with climbing friends as they summit big mountains. He is working strongly in spirit, healing and transforming lives… He is there for us all. 

He recently came into a Sunday night healing and told the healer ….. “We are here to lie on the alter of unconditional love and live fully”

For me it’s a loss so unbearable and painful, I am so grateful to you all for being here today and holding me in such love. But I am here and wanting to spend time and share with you all. 

I feel Manel sent me angels to hold me….  Thank you so much those who came to me in Spain Amy, Kelly Jeff! And To liz, Erin and everyone who made today possible. 

So for now I thank you all for holding us in such love and to Manel I say, I love you forever. 

Enjoy your freedom and we will meet again.